I don't feel I am loved because you do make me feel I am your mistake.
May be because your weak to stand for the things that you'll be needing in your life. Or because I do feel but am afraid to tell you and loss you. Or worth's you don't realize what you really want.
Difference of Business third party relationship to Love affair - third party. Business third party relationship always stand as legal and mutual give and take relationship. Its salvaging trust in the name of financial earning. Do's and don't must always exist that bond with a contract. After heated conversation, improper representation and financial damage relationship will be split and voided.
Love affair - third party always hide. Its a shadow that always interpreted as an error. Usually strong relationship dispose third party once found. Its because third party represent as an outlet purpose only. An outlet that vacuum all negative vibes and turn it to marry moments. Once outlet is not needed, they need to step back hide and wait till they are needed. Its an illegal bond no contract and once found dignity will be at risk.
How to shift love affair to a business purpose to legal existence. It might be, by being strong to gave space to partner who has partner to legally separate from each other. And to recreate relationship like a business partner having a mutual effort. Till both of you bond with out any party attach. I think that is a great plan. And Ill gonna try this crazy idea I have, because I am fucking idiot with my situation.
Life would always be the best Science project. Your existance will always depend on how you act for things. Choose right or left, loads would only be determine once your on the spot. There is always risk but trying will tell you how far you are from the first step.
As of this hour I want to break my shell. I want to walk as far as I could see. I wanna be ready. Its tiring that I could reapite same thing always but nothing is moving forward. I want to be breave as I can to show you how far I can go and to encourage you to take your first step to stand. I am weak and your weak. I can not hide till I die I can not borrow time on convinience because I need atleast on my darkess days. Right now I wanna cry because of this weakness I am feeling. I did this to my self, I wanna prove to my fucking mind that I am not wrong I am just following my soft heart. Even you choose to turn back on me in the end. Atleast I know I try hard.
